“In the first part, the women asked questions, and in the second part, Trump went through and rated them physically from 1 to 10.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“One lucky lady was named Miss Fox News Town Hall ’24, so congratulations.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Now he’s claiming to be the father of I.V.F. — which has been happening since 1978. This guy won’t even admit to being the father of Eric.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“He’s the father of I.V.F. Maybe that’s short for Ivanka, I don’t know.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“You should not vote for someone because they dance to ‘Y.M.C.A.’ But also, I’m not sure you’d call this dancing.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Those are some bad moves, baby. If this president thing doesn’t work out, he ought to think about being a contestant on ‘Swaying With the Stars’ or ‘So You Think You Can Tilt.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“But no matter how gay his music is, young, straight white men love Donald Trump. They see him as a ‘macho, macho’ man, if you will.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“He eats red meat, he pretends to follow U.F.C., he’s into crypto and sneakers and NFTs. He’s a dude, a bro and a boss all rolled into one.” — JIMMY KIMMEL